I wanna bring you to show and tell
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
