carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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