You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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