I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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