You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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