Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize