remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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