He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
