Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
