Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Four minutes until I can fart!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
