Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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