Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
