weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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