Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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