Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Vodka?
Forever.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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