check it out our google latitudes are spooning
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
