Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
