U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
