Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize