i may or may not be watching the land before time
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Randomize
