UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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