her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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