so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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