Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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