This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
