Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
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Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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