I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
