Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
