its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
