Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize