Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
MIDGETS
????
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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