It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
