I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize