I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
