This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
