Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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