She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
