he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize