good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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