Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
