Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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