We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
