if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
