i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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