Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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