I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
