Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
