My room smells like vodka and shame
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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