What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
