is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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