my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
