I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
