bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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