My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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