Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
