I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
