I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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