Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize