You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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