She is in my trunk
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I didn't notice because vodka
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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