i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
