Whod you bang
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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