Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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