"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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