It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
