He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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